This New Chapter

Today I begin a new decade of life. This day seemed to come so quickly. I never imagined myself in my 20s. I have always looked up to people around me in their 20s and now I have become one of them. 

Today also marks the beginning of this blog. I never thought I would ever do something like this, and yet I never thought I’d be 20, so here we are. I have always enjoyed writing, especially creatively, but in my recent college years, my love for writing has really been squandered by the constant churning out of paper after reflection paper after research paper and on and on it goes, the continual work never seeming to end. 

However, as the whole world has come to a screeching halt due to the pandemic affecting us all, we have been forced to stop this constant churn of life and essentially recreate what life looks like for each of us. During this quarantine, I have felt the full spectrum of emotions every single day ranging from the immense sadness of precious time lost with friends, to the mundane thoughts of simply clicking from Zoom meeting to Zoom meeting. At times, I’ve even had the content feelings of enjoying all of the free time that the Lord has given us to focus on Him and our own self-care. Let’s face it, we’ve all been asking for the gift of time to rest and focus for a long time and now we finally have it. 

Also during this quarantine, I have basically stumbled upon hobbies that I never knew might interest me. I have been baking and cooking most days of the week, actually reading for pleasure, and working out practically everyday. My job has also given me the privilege of running all of our social media accounts (shoutout to Young Life Chicago Near North) and in this, I have really come to love the idea of creating content, branding a page, growing a following, getting more people engaged, and all the other social media buzz-phrases out there. Through researching these topics and attending multiple free online masterclasses with social media professionals, I stumbled upon one sentence in one of hundreds of emails I found in my inbox every day that read, “Start your very own blog today!” Suddenly, the lightbulb went on and at that moment I realized that I truly love writing and am in need of a place to simply process what I’m learning in life, where I yearn to grow, what God may be showing me, and all of my sometimes jumbled thoughts. If this quarantine has taught me anything, it’s that everyone has their own thoughts and opinions and we all are just searching for someone to listen to us. Listening is getting increasingly harder in today’s culture with all of the constant noise that we take in on a daily basis. Therefore, I’m not looking to simply add to the noise thrown at you, but I know that I don’t often take enough time to process the things I’m learning, taking in, and all of my experiences, so I hope this outlet will help me in this way. 

I chose My Pencils Have Memories as the name of my blog because this was one of my mom’s favorite memories of when I was little. And, looking at it now, it seems to still apply. Before school started every year, my mom would take me to buy new school supplies. Needless to say, this was one of my most favorite things ever. I absolutely loved, and still do, buying school supplies. One day, as we prepared to go shopping and were taking inventory of what we already had, my mom asked me if we could get fresh new pencils to start the year. I hesitated for a moment and with a furrowed brow looked at my mom and said, “But I don’t want new pencils. These pencils have memories!” 

This one little sentence sums up me. I hate change on a small scale. I hate getting new pillows. I hate giving away jewelry. I hate throwing away old shoes. I hate changing traditions. But shockingly enough, I’m ok with change on a big scale. I love to travel and visit new places. I love getting a new car. I love changing classes every semester. It’s the little things in life that are the hardest to let go of. They may not have the biggest lasting impact on my life, but they were with me everyday getting me through the large changes of life. 

So, today as I embark on this new decade of life, filled with so many new and exciting adventures that only the Lord knows about, I pray that the little things in life will be treasured the most. May the everyday moments with God draw me closer and closer to Him, even just a little at a time. May the special circumstances I get placed in shape me in ways I could never imagine. May the simplicity of good laughter with friends lead me to praise the Lord for His lavish blessings. May the sweet little humans that I (normally) have been entrusted to take care of every week point me to Christ in their ever-growing mind, body, and soul. And may the pencils I write these detailed memories with never be forgotten as I strive to glorify and serve God with my life. 

I hope that as these small things are penciled-in to my life, God is able to erase the edges which I have drawn to create a beautiful mosaic of my life, connecting all of the details together in order to help me grow into exactly what He wants me to be for His glory. I do know that God uses each of our gifts in the Church and I hope that this blog and the sharing of my memories, thoughts, emotions, and conversations with God will be able to help someone in their walk with the Lord, even if in the slightest way. Thank you for taking this journey with me as I process life in this new decade, in the middle of my college years, and as I yearn for the future but not knowing what this space is for me yet.

With Love,
Hannah